to you, in a few years:

i hope winter treats you well. i hope the snow covers your hair in a blanket so comforting you'd hope it stayed through spring and summer. i hope you make a lot of snow angels, or snowmen, or whatever it is you like making in a paradise of untouched and soft and infinite potential. i know that you are a maker. you made a mess out of me.

i hope you run down the clock, and chase its hands like you would chase a blizzard, slowly along the wind that i know you would enjoy feeling on your face. as cold and bitter and unbearably sharp as it would feel on mine. but i think of the joy you'd feel as your shoes made their marks over a world that you love and hate so dearly. and for me, that is enough.

i hope the joy of december melts into january. i hope february holds your hand in every way i wanted to. i hope march comes roaring in, searing the ice that froze your voice and the scarves that blinded your eyes. i know march is your month. march is filled with stories that you haven't told me yet. like how you found, fell, and lost your love. how you cried without warning, and stained your favorite shirt and pillows with the crystals you carved from your eyes. i wish i could've been there then. i wish i could know you in march.

i hope you write poetry. well, every word to me is poetry. i find poetry in the soft hum of the streets at midnight, as a car six blocks away makes its turn onto a road that takes it home. in the purr of rainfall that comes because it's just a little too warm to freeze. in the quiet ringing of amber bells that every store hangs just above the door--a curt and welcoming embrace. in the scent of tired christmas trees, in the smiles of shy children, and in you.

i hope our goodbyes are short. i'd fall apart if they weren't. never enough time to say all the nothing i want to say. i don't remember much about our conversations anyways because i can't hear you over our laughter. and my screaming thoughts. 

i hope winter holds you in an embrace as warm as you are.

i hope i'll be there.

from, me.

2024.12.03 // ;;